Gonna tell you a story that's no surprise
But I fell in love on the Enterprise
With a girl who comes from Beta Antares Four
I was on the Bridge, sittin' at the helm
Turbolift opened and my jaw fell
Never saw a woman strut like that before

You know that I fell in love with a gold Antari queen
Meanest hunk of woman that anybody ever seen
At the Science station

She was five-foot-seven and one-fifteen
A real blonde bomber with a streak of mean
She knew how to dazzle
And her teasing you just had to like
Consensus of the Bridge crew said
She'd even make Commander Spock's blood run red
McCoy calls her 'Ruthie'
Her racing buddies call her 'Spike'

You know that I fell in love with a gold Antari queen
Meanest hunk of woman that anybody ever seen
At the Science station

Well I could not help but to fall in love
With this heavy-duty woman I been speakin' of
Things were kinda dull until the day she sauntered into my life
Well she might be nasty as an alley-cat
But I never met a person who would tell her that
She's my keheil bomber
My heavy-handed Rhiannol mama

You know that I fell in love with a gold Antari queen
Meanest hunk of woman that anybody ever seen
At the Science station